shopliftingA particular pet peeve of mine, amongst a number of annoying nuances which seems to be increasing faster than our hate mail box, is when people make a point to rattle off their grievances with a particular structure of  the government system without offering any realistic solutions. Despite popular sheep-lief, socialism will not bring about the end of days. Just ask the millions of people who wake up everyday to enjoy such a system. You think capitalism is perfect? Ask yourself many hours a week are you working. Now check your bank account. Now sob softly into the bosom of Uncle Sam, where your tears will later be rung out into 1 fl oz bottles and sold at Walmart for $19.99 as a medicinal tincture for treating poverty.

As we digress a whole lot back to a real topic, I would like to remind our readers that UVSF endeavors to the best of our ability to sustain an objective approach to all content and absolutely no approach to politics whatsoever, terribly jokes withstanding

Upon recently returning to my hometown for a visit with family and friends, I was introduced to a crew of young Robin-Hood-esque delinquents by an old friend of mine whom brought me up to speed on their situation. 

“These big businesses blow into town like they own the place, hiring kids to work in shitty conditions and offering low prices that no other shop can even compete with. They say it’s progress, but look around us. It’s fucked up and un-American.” My friend explains as he casually smokes dope on a bench outside of a local Walmart. “I don’t know about you, but I’m sick and fucking tired of being pushed around by corporate America. In my mind, they owe me a great deal. I’m trying to even the playing field, not just for myself, but for every hard working American who is being taken advantage of by these scum sucking lizard bitches! Someone has to, right?”  Read the rest of this entry »

Joke of the Day

Posted: July 25, 2017 by Quintin Goynes in Contests, Events - On the Town, Pragmatic Profligacy
Tags: ,

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, “If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?”

Johnny says, “None.”

The teacher asks, “Why?”

Johnny says, “Because the shot scared them all off.”

The teacher says, “No, two, but I like how you’re thinking.”

Johnny asks the teacher, “If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?”

The teacher says, “The one sucking her ice cream.”

Johnny says, “No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking!”

Image Copyright: Kajal_Aggarwal

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The Influence of the Nineteenth Century Pop Culture

Images are copyright (Heather Brooke, ‘Wifey,’ Amateurs)


Quintin is working on content about facials and trendy methods for today’s pornographic enthusiasts… Stay tuned, because there is more at the jump! Read the rest of this entry »

enchanted forest gathering 2017 on-site dispensary efg 2017 lineup

An ode to their continued efforts to remain at the forefront of an evolving festival circuit, the West Coast’s premier multi-experiential event, Enchanted Forest Gathering (EFG) unveils an innovative partnership with seed-to-shelf NorCal cannabis manufacturer & distributor, CannaCraft and leading online cannabis telehealth platform, PrestoDoctor. Dubbed The Emerald Forest, the trailblazing venture will be one of the many immersive environments found within the enchanting wooded grounds and the only festival location to boast a cannabis-friendly zone, designed specifically with the gathering’s core audience in mind.

Last year EFG made waves across the festival community by announcing an on-site dispensary for the 2016 event, advocating and promoting holistic practices of vitality through access to cannabis for those attendees authorized for legal use of cannabis. Uniting with CannaCraft and PrestoDoctor for the 7th annual gathering at Black Oak Ranch in Laytonville, CA this June 9-11, Enchanted Forest Gathering is elevating previous year’s initiatives through the creation of The Emerald Forest, where educational, cannabis-centric workshops, an on-site medical marijuana evaluation center provided by PrestoDoctor, and, of course, an abundance of laughs will be up for exploration.

PrestoDoctor will use their industry leading telemedicine technology to connects doctors to patients via iPads within The Emerald Forest to offer free 215 prescription evaluations to attendees in celebration of the inaugural Emerald Forest – Pre-register online today to secure your on-site appointment.

Supplementing the unprecedented opportunity to be evaluated on-site are over 20 leading cannabusiness vendors, innovative keynote speakers, and new comedy stage, the LOLounge, topping the long list of areas to discover within the confines of EFG’s latest endeavor. Guests who enter The Emerald Forest can also enjoy a full-service hookah lounge, interactive presentations of “The Great Bingo Revival,” and “The Game Show Show,” and, if they’d like to leave a lasting impression at this year’s event, can sign up to participate in the “That Reminds Me….” Storytelling Show with industry themes such as “That One Time at Trim Camp…”

Celebrating roots in Northern California’s Mendocino County, CannaCraft and the Enchanted Forest Gathering embrace the region’s heritage as the birthplace of Prop 215, the revolutionary piece of legislation that legalized the cultivation and sale of cannabis and cannabis products for use as medicine in California in 1996. Since that time, CannaCraft has become a worldwide leader in medical cannabis products; creating the popular brands AbsoluteXtracts, Care By Design, and Satori Chocolates, all the while, continuing to focus on patient wellness, education, and consultation and now bringing this movement to Enchanted Forest Gathering for a sublime weekend.

EFG’s Emerald Forest is the latest element in a masterpiece collection of offerings at this year’s festival, where attendees will also be able to witness the only California and Oregon performance by godfather of glitch and bass music, Tipper, one of two appearances on the West Coast in 2017. Joining Tipper in the myriad of lineup additions is innovative international bass act Opiuo plus Isaac Chambers an emerging, breakout artist from New Zealand. These artists round out an already-impressive lineup that features Noisia, The Polish Ambassador, Tokimonsta, The Funk Hunters, Dimond Saints, The Floozies, The Pimps of Joytime, T Sisters, Sunsquabi, Scott Pemberton Band, and over 100 more musical acts.

Step into the mesmerizing realm Enchanted Forest Gathering builds annually and construct your own adventure. With four stages featuring live and electronic music, daily yoga classes, dance and flow arts instruction, and first class workshops on topics like Health & Wellness, Relationships & Sexuality, and Science & Spirituality, Enchanted Forest Gathering inspires attendees to embody their highest and truest spirit. Within the embrace of a safe, alcohol-free environment promoting a “Get saucy, not sauced!” policy plus continued and elevated 215 initiatives, the 2017 gathering is slated to cement a lasting imprint on the legendary grounds for years to come.

Music, wellness, cultural celebration, and environmentally conscious efforts beautifully blend to help Enchanted Forest Gathering realize its core mission “to produce gatherings that activate personal growth, inspire collective sharing and redefine conscious celebration.” Unlock an enchanting journey into the lush woods of Enchanted Forest Gathering – Tickets for EFG 2017 are available now!


Did you miss Enchanted Forest Gathering 2016? Experience the highlights here.

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Davis Mallory - LOUD Single Art
The creative direction for the Music Video was inspired in part by George Michael, and the fact that I am a Leo with men dressed in lion masks with a came by my cat Xena the Himalayan. It features Nashville Predator ice skater Emily Outlaw, model Kayla Poyner, American Idol’s Hector Montenegro (known professional as Arlo) and actor Manny Sandow, nodding to my LGBT ties. I came out nationally on MTV’s The Real World in 2006. I am a Nashville based recording artist (singer-songwriter & DJ) and gave a TED Talk in 2013 on my journey into music and out of reality TV.


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Announcing the Release of Andrew Judah’s New Single, “Metanoia.” 

With features from Billboard, Indie Shuffle and more, it’s safe to say that Judah’s music is definitely making waves. Profound lyrics combined with a danceable beat and excellent production set “Metanoia,” apart from its contenders. Read the rest of this entry »

Featured Image: Bass Lions - Facebook

Spring 2017: Base Lions Release “Threes”

Bass Lions released an EP of modern adaptations of classical music by Bach and Holst – plus a collaborative arrangement & single – with members and associates of the KW Symphony Orchestra. “Threes” represents and rare opportunity for classically trained musicians to work with independent “rock” musicians to create and record hybrid arrangements of classical music and contribute to original composition. Read about the project at IMPOSE’s premiere. “Threes” was produced by Ian Smith and recorded at Escarpment Sound. Grab yourself an advance of the full EP, now

More at the jump…

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Scandi Mankind detonate a scuzz-tastic new single- Spector, The Doors, The Strokes (TLOBF, NME)

The Scandi garage-alt-rocky Mankind releases a new scuzz-tastic single’Three Handfuls Of Dirt’  Out Spring 2017

Ingenious, dark and distorted – meet the Swedish underground indie-rock four-piece MANKIND. With their previous releases leaving the Stockholm underground and warehouse scene well and truly shaken, MANKIND are back with a new single from their upcoming EP “Death”. With Sweden already getting drunk on disorder, it’s about time the rest of mankind joined the madness.


More at the jump…
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 Featured Image Copyright: photo cred: Insomniak Media

“Twitchily rhythmic, wan indie, with some pretensions towards epic, ringing guitars, and vocals that express rapture and longing, often at once” –
The Guardian

“Intricate guitar pop framed by Local Natives-like harmonies and Bombay Bicycle Club briskness.” – Q Magazine

“Lush atmosphere with dream-like guitars and melodies with some pretty huge choruses as well.” – The 405

“Dramatic dream-pop” – Noisey

“Rigid yet sanguine… with achingly euphoric lyricism” – SPIN

“Singalong melodies and moody dances” – Consequence Of Sound

“Power musicianship sitting alongside some deeply personal lyrics” – Clash

Every body knows a ‘close talker’ in life, right? Not just because of the infamous Seinfeld episode, but maybe a work colleague, a family member or a drinking buddy; there’s always one that gets too close for comfort. Close Talker the band, are now a three-piece alternative indie rock band from the western Canadian province of Saskatchewan with members Will Quiring (Vox), Matt Kopperud (Guitar) and Chris Morien (Drums) making up the numbers.

More at the jump…


Close Talker

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The song was co-written with the producer of the song Yoad Nevo (London based producer known for his work with Sia, Pet Shop Boys and more). Influenced by pop music from the 90’s, with a more up to date production, shifting between soft clean pop to rock elements, giving a more powerful messy feel to the song. Read the rest of this entry »