May is notoriously the month of ambiguity. The kissing cousin of April Fools, May provides us with a chance to confess our would-be ill doings under the thin veil of wordplay.
“Look, man. I may have hooked up with your girlfriend while you were out of town. She may have been drunk enough to smoke through the filter of a cigarette. I may have invited her back to my place under the pretext of playing Jenga. But everything I just said may just be made up, and you may need to stop dating whores.”
Okay, I’m not fooling anyone. I just needed to get hat off my chest. Simply follow @UVulgarSFiend on twitter or like us on facebook and be entered to win this month’s free shit giveaway.
May’s winner will receive a bottle of liquor of their choice. You heard right – Free Booze, yo. And while you’re shitface plastered and leaning up against any blurring object that may or may not support your weight and may or may not be a rapist, whether it’s wandering the city streets or at one of the many upcoming festivals, be sure to take lots of pictures, as they may come in handy for winning next month’s contest (foreshadowing pending).
A grip of runners up will be looking fly in UVSF apparel.
It’s just that easy, folks and fiends! Don’t say the deviants of this world never did anything for you, because we got your back.