Shit Sucks – Titan: Has NASA Teamed With the Illuminati to Destroy Us All?

Posted: October 10, 2011 by Bailey in Shit Sucks News
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or Is the Lucifer Project designed to save the elite after that asteroid hits?

A few people may remember that in the 1997 NASA, partnered with the European Space Agency and the Italian Space Agency, launched the Cassini Space Probe to study Saturn and its moons. A furious cry went up around the world because Cassini’s electrical power plant was a radioisotope thermoelectric generator utilizing 72 pounds of Plutonium-238. With no moving parts it is a simple, long lasting power supply designed to operate computers, cameras, sensors, as well as anything and everything the curious astronomer and astrophysicist might desire for as long as they wanted.
The furor arose over the simple question of what would happen to earth if the launch was unsuccessful and the Pu-238 fell into the ocean. It was an excellent question that nobody answered adequately at the time; most likely because it was so much easier to ignore. Also because the answer would not be pretty.
Needless to say, Cassini got off successfully and without incident. So far.
For the past few years, Cassini has been zooming around Saturn and its moons, particularly Titan. Titan, it turns out, is about the size of Earth (giving it the same gravity) and made up of liquids and solids that supposedly contain all the building blocks of life. If it could only be warmed up a bit, the place could turn out to be livable with plentiful water, oil, and a magnificent scenic view.
Funding to run the program, monitored by JPL in La Canada, was originally extended from 2008 to 2010 but was to expire last year. The space probe was then going to be crashed into the friendly old, ringed, gas giant.
Now it gets interesting. But a bit of history is in order. Cassini had a sibling, Galileo, which got an earlier start, with essentially the same electrical power plant, mapped Jupiter, the largest gas giant in the solar system, and its moons. At the end of the mission, they crashed Galileo into Jupiter supposedly in order not to contaminate its moon, Europa. A month after the crash Jupiter developed an ominous black spot.
An engineer, Jacco Van der Worp, posited that the plutonium Galileo carried would ultimately collapse under the enormous atmospheric pressures and set off a nuclear explosion that could start nuclear fusion in the deuterium (heavy hydrogen) igniting Jupiter as the solar system’s second sun. An interesting thought that could possibly eliminate the need to turn on streetlights for years at a time
NASA didn’t agree. But when the black spot grumbled and appeared on Jupiter’s surface a few began to rethink the scenario. As Sinatra would have said, “What a gas.”
Some point out that no less a sci fi pundit than Arthur C. Clarke had predicted this as a mechanism that would turn Jupiter into a second star in the solar system. This thinking provided the underpinning of Clarke’s “2010: Odyssey Two”.
Back to Saturn and Titan. This scenario has been dubbed “The Lucifer Project”. Some conspiracy theorists claim that NASA is in league with the dreaded Illuminati and/or super secret Freemasonic orders bent on the destruction of humanity. According to them the intention is to ignite Saturn and fry the earth with the month long deadly radiation that would result, announcing the return of their pal, that’s right and you guessed it again, Lucifer.
Others claim an even more sinister plot is in the works. If we’re able to warm up Titan, it would become habitable for human beings in just a couple of hundred years. Nice place for a vacation? You bet, if the earth survives the massive space object/asteroid/comet/brown dwarf/whatever it is that is scheduled to crash into our planet a few hundreds years hence. That’s right, the one NASA has already detected but won’t tell us about so we won’t panic.
Is this why NASA has inexplicably determined to bypass the moon, leaving it to the Chinese, who have announced intentions to begin colonization within 20 years? Is this why the mysterious DARPA (Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency) teamed with NASA for the 100 Year Starship Symposium near Disney World recently?
In the meantime, where is the US going? Mars of course, where there’s water. And a more convenient launch pad to Saturn. Mars won’t be annihilated when the massive space object creams home sweet home, but colonies on the Moon would wither with no support from Earth. So much for the Chinese gaining the high ground.
But there’s that small problem of deadly radiation. If the mission had ended last year, earth would have been fried! No sense in that. Now the mission is extended until 2017. Saturn should be on the other side of the solar system and far enough away to make the deadly radiation relatively harmless. Hopefully.
Nice to know that NASA has already invented massive 3D printers that can print out buildings from found materials without human help, so prefab dwellings will be ready for occupancy when our space pioneers touch down. These babies can print out an air tight, domed structure ready for plumbing and wire pulls. Once they’re done on Mars, they can be shipped off to Titan. Humanity is saved!
The question is, “Who gets to go?” Reminds me of that old sci fi classic “When Worlds Collide.” But the answer is, “Only the folks on Mars.”
Insiders claim the reptilian space aliens ensconced on the dark side of the moon are staying out of this one. They’re laughing too hard. They’ve done the math and know that Saturn, like Jupiter, doesn’t have enough mass to support a fusion reaction.
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